The opinions expressed on the Rants and Raves of Mac McIntyre are solely those of its author and are shared for the purpose of encouraging dialogue about life and issues in DeKalb County, Illinois.

There Oughta be an
Impact Fee on Babies

editor's note: The following song was written in the Key of G and is one of 150 songs with just three chords that I can play on my guitar. The lyrics are intended to anger as many people as I can because I believe that facts should be considered, not spin, in addressing an important issue facing DeKalb County... that being the lack of affordable housing for the residents who live here now.

Impact fees are nothing more than a loophole in the citizen-mandated tax cap laws.  By directly adding an upfront cost to the price of a new home, impact fees result in higher housing costs.  They serve to inflate land values and, because tax assessments are relative in terms of location, increase taxes on both new and existing home owners.

Critics of impact fees, like me, claim they encourage irresponsible spending by the governmental units that collect them.  Many governmental units, charging impact fees, are now claiming that residents of a new construction home, averaging around $215,000 in DeKalb County, don't generate enough revenue, at an annual average of more than $5,000 in taxes, to pay for government services.

Since existing homes are selling for an average of about $60,000 less than a new construction home in DeKalb County and paying about 40% less in taxes... is that evidence enough to make the case for irresponsible spending?

So without further ado...

An Impact Fee on Babies

There oughta be
an Impact Fee on babies
That way they can get an early start
to bleeding every dime
that kid will make in his life time
and they can bank on
our kids' longer life expectancy

There oughta be
an Impact Fee on ladies
cuz they keep on squeezin' those babies out
the cash register will ring
every time the fat lady sings
and they can collect those fees
throughout her pregnancy

There oughta be
an Impact Fee on a penis
fully metered out by the inch
and with those morning rises
money will pour in from all sizes
and maybe it will cut down
on all those intercourses

There oughta be
an Impact Fee on God
afterall, He created this whole mess
and for a whole eternity
they 'll get to keep collecting those fees
cuz I understand
He has unlimited resources

words and music copyrighted by Tramp Swan (aka Mac McIntyre)

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